As much as any other event, weddings are associated with thank you notes. It is de rigueur to send
personalized thank you notes to all of your gift-bearing wedding guests, and in most cases even to those
who attended but did not bring a gift. Each thank you note you write should be personalized to express the
gratitude felt to each individual. You can keep your thank you notes short and to the point.
You will hear many etiquette suggestions relating to this tradition. In our opinion, the main thing is to
express your gratitude in a heartfelt way and as quickly as possible; the time worn suggestion that you have
a year to get them out is not one we recommend availing yourself of. Generally, your notes should be written
and sent within two to three weeks – six to eight at the very most. Some say you should send notes within
two weeks for gifts received before the wedding, and within one month for gifts after the wedding (giving you
time off for your honeymoon).
Be sure to specifically mention the received gift in your notes and to tell the giver how you will use the
item, if possible (hopefully you made a list of who gave what). The more specific you can be the better:
"thank you for the elegant Nambe serving platter" is better than "thank you for the plate". However,
for money gifts it's usually considered in poor taste to actually mention the amount of the gift (you
can use the phrase "generous gift" or "most generous gift").
Refer to any special effort the person went to for you, such as traveling a long distance to attend the wedding
or giving a special toast. Consider adding a line telling invited guests who were unable to attend the wedding
how sorry you were that they couldn't be there with you.
Send separate notes for shower and wedding gifts. Even if you received two gifts from the same person within a
short period of time, each one deserves its own acknowledgment. If a gift has broken, or you receive duplicate
gifts, what your write will depend on your relationship with the giver. People often just convey thanks just
as they would have absent either of these misforutnes, without getting into the gory details, and this probably
makes sense in most cases.
We suggest using the more formal greeting of "Dear Mr./Mrs. Jones" if you barely know the person, and the more
casual greeting "Dear Jane” if you know them well. You should also use the appropriate thank you note closings
such as "Sincerely," "Best Wishes," "With Our Love," etc. (see "Closings - The Basics" and "Closings Samples -
Most Common") in the Tips and Samples tab.
You might want to consider choosing a card from one of our personalizable card options (from the bottom card
categories on the “Select a Card” page in step 2). With those, you can put your names (or other short message)
on the front of the cards.
Writing wedding thank you cards can easily come with a case of writer's block, especially if you don't know
a person that well, or if you or your partner don't like the wedding gift you received. Use any of our wording
samples, below, to help get you started and make the task of writing your wedding thank you cards much easier.
You may also find the samples in other sections, especially marriage-related ones (Engagement, Bridal Shower,
etc.) useful as well.
" Thank you so much for the lovely [insert gift]. It will look perfect in our [insert room of the house]. We will think of you every time we use it. Thanks again."
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" Thanks so much for the [wedding gift] you gave us for our wedding. We really like [name of specific wedding gift] and plan to use it for [how you use the wedding gift]. Your thoughtfulness means a lot to us, and we want you to know that we truly appreciate the kindness you have shown to us."
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" Thomas and I can't thank you enough for the wooden mask. It certainly is different and we have already received lots of comments! We look forward to seeing you both at the wedding. "
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" Thank you so much for the generous gift. It was so thoughtful of you. We were both so happy to be be able to celebrate our big day with you. Thanks again!"
" A million thanks to all of you for the coffee machine. It's such a generous gift and Tony and I can't thank you enough. Now we can spoil ourselves with a cappuccino first thing in the morning! Thank you again for your generosity, and see you all at the wedding! "
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" Thank you so much for the set of pots and pans. James and I are very grateful for this generous and useful gift. We will think of you while putting them to good use. Thanks again. "
" Thank you for your generous wedding gift. Thomas and I have been saving for a new computer and your gift will finally enable us to purchase it. Thanks again and we both look forward to seeing you at the wedding!"
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" Thank you so much for your wedding gift. We're going to deposit it into an account to save for a down payment for a new home. It's exciting to know we're that much closer to our goal thanks to you! It was wonderful to see you at the wedding. Thanks for coming, and thanks again for your thoughtfulness. "
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"Ted and I wanted to thank you and express our gratitude for the check you sent us as a wedding gift. We were saving up to buy a living room set, and your gift will help us reach our goal. We can't wait to invite you over to watch movies on our extremely comfortable furniture."
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" Thank you both for coming to the wedding and for the awesome gift. We're going to spend it on the honeymoon, and just completely relax. You guys are really great, and your truly generous gift will definitely help make this vacation. Thanks again."
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" John and I appreciate your generous wedding gift and plan to put it towards a set of crystal glasses. We have actually chosen the set we want, and you must come over and see them after we buy it. It was great to see you at the wedding and we hope you enjoyed it as much as we did. We wish we could have spent more time with you but it was a pretty hectic day! Thanks again. "
" John and I would like to thank you for being our flower girl. We were so lucky to have you help us on our big day. You stole everyone's hearts as you led the way, scattering rose petals and charming all the guests with your sunny smile. Thank you for helping make our wedding day so perfect. "
" Thanks for doing such a fantastic job as an usher at our wedding. Several guests complimented you on the way you escorted them so quickly and efficiently to their seats, and commented on how friendly and helpful you were generally. Sarah and I are also thankful that you ironed out the little problem with the music without anyone noticing! We hope you enjoyed the day as much as we did, and thanks again for everything! See you soon, my friend. "
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" Thomas and I would like to thank you for taking on the job of groomsman at our wedding. Between escorting guests and ironing out last minute problems, we know you had a very busy day and must have been exhausted at the end of it! Many thanks for everything - you were a great help to us and we couldn't have asked for a more dedicated groomsman."
" Thank you to the best, best man! You really put yourself out - I think maybe as much as Sarah and I did, and we were the ones getting married! First, you organized a great bachelor party (I really hope you didn't spend too much money). And I appreciate all your help on the wedding day, making sure everything was perfect. The groomsmen were organized and carried out their duties like clockwork. You calmed everyone's nerves, and Aunt Betty fell in love with you! It was an honor having you by my side on such an important day. You are really a great friend and I can't thank you enough. "
" First, Tom and I would like to thank you for your very generous wedding gift. It was way too much. We promise to put it to good use though - looks like we'll be getting a car after all. We are also truly grateful for all the help and moral support you have given us over the last few months. The run up to the wedding was a hectic time, but you were always there for us when we needed you. You gave advice, supported us, and calmed our last minute nerves as well as numerous other things. Thanks a million for all your love and support. "
" We wanted to write you a note thanking you for the beautiful handmade quilt! It is gorgeous and we were both deeply touched that you gave us such an elaborate gift. It was wonderful spending time with you at our wedding. I look forward to catching up more with you on your family's news, and filling you in on our honeymoon travels and how our lives have changed as a newly married couple. Thanks again for everything. "
" Thank you for the wonderful coffee maker that you sent Joanne and I as a wedding present. I know we will enjoy it for many years to come. It was great getting to know you at our wedding, after all these years of hearing so much about you. We are really grateful that you made time to share our special day with us."
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" Thank you for coming to the wedding (it made the day so special), and also for your generous gift. We are using it toward buying a new car, which is something we didn't think we'd be able to do. You are both such dear and thoughtful friends. Thanks again so much, and we hope to see you soon."
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" Thank you for the lovely [insert gift]. Having you both there on such a special day meant so much to us. Even though we did not have much opportunity to talk that day, your presence was thoroughly felt and appreciated. Thank you."
" Thank you for your generous wedding gift. We are going to use it toward our honeymoon [or another choice such as to redecorate our apartment, saving for a down payment on a home, or waiting to spend it until we can think of something as special as you to purchase]. Your thoughtful gift and well wishes are a blessing. Thanks again."
" Thank you for traveling to share our special day."
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" Thank you for being with us on our wedding day, even though it's not exactly cross-town."
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" Love knows no boundaries. Thank you for coming to [insert destination] with us."
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" Thank you for the joy of your company on this special day."
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" We are so glad you could be here on our wedding day. Thank you."
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" Thanks for coming to this special place to be with us on our wedding day."
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" Thank you for the lovely [insert gift] and for traveling to [insert destination]. We appreciate the extra effort and time it took for you to come to our wedding. Your presence made the day that much more special. We love the [insert gift] and will think of you every time we use it. Thanks again for everything."
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" Thank you for joining us in Honolulu [or insert destination] for the wedding. We know it was a considerable expense of time and money, and we are truly grateful that you were there. Your presence made it that much more of a special occasion. Thank you again."
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" Thank you for joining us in [insert destination] for our wedding, and also for your very generous gift. We are saving it for a down payment on our new home. Your generosity is greatly appreciated. Thanks again."
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" Thank you for coming to the wedding and also for the beautiful [insert gift]. Your presence at the wedding was a gift in itself, and the [insert gift] was such a nice extra touch of generosity. We appreciate your traveling such a distance to celebrate our special day, your well wishes, and above all, your friendship."
" Peter and I have decided to call off our engagement. Although this may come as a surprise to you, we are both glad that we have come to this decision before the wedding actually took place. Thank you both for the beautiful crystal vase you gave us as a wedding gift; however, I am sure you can understand why we feel we must return it to you. "
" Thank you for the adorable bride and groom bathrobes and for coming to the wedding. Having been honored to be a guest at your wedding last Spring, your presence at our wedding made it that much more special. Thanks again."
" Your friendship, love and well wishes will be remembered always."
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" We will think of you every time we use it."
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" Your generous gift and well wishes are truly appreciated."
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" Your practical gift is greatly appreciated."
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" Your presence at the wedding made it that much more of a special occasion."
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" Thank you for your lovely gift."
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" Thank you for not only coming to the wedding, but also for your beautiful gift."
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" Even though you could not attend, your well wishes were felt thoroughly on our wedding day."
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" Your generosity and support will be remembered always."
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" Thank you for the elegant gift you sent."
"Thanks for sharing At our most special day You being at our wedding Made it perfect in every way."
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"Thank you for being our bridesmaid And taking part in our special day Thank you for your love and support It was touching in every way."
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